michymich

ive not been so stressed out for a long time.
it never rains but pours!

i thot i wud miss 6 lessons of my 2nd module that im taking this sem. imagine my surprise when they changed the bloody timetable yet again and there is practically a lesson everyday from now till 22nd dec.
it means i wud miss 80% of the classes.
imagine how intensive it wud be if the entire module is can be done in 3 weeks' time.

before anyone stupidly shoot their mouths off and say that i shdnt have chosen to go japan - if i had known before we booked the tickets that this module is gonna be that intensive, i wud have chosen to stay.
i wud be really really sad abt it but ive got priorities, balls.

im really stressed abt the assignments but i will know if i can continue this module 2 by tmr.
i prefer not to drop this module cos

a) it'll be done in 3 weeks
b) no exams, just a class test
c) the assignments are interesting (im really interested in international advertising!)
d) the lecturer is from perth ("we've got camels on the beach, sydney's only got a opera house")
e) i'll most probably not get to take this module nx sem

i keep telling myself to chill, and that everything can be solved.
i just imagine months later, after i get out of sch and no more headaches abt such stuff.

it doenst help that im really swarmed with work in the office, and im the only one in my dept.
ok i really dont want to think anymore.

i will

1) finish up my assignment for my 1st module tmr - do during lunch, whatever
2) go to class tmr night and see what happens - if i drop module 2, so be it. if i continue, bear with it.
3) slp earlier tonight to get ready for battle tmr.
4) be strong.

fuk! and i thot i cud go last minute shopping with jy for our trip :(

i wish i cud shrink into baby and let someone cradle me and hold me tight and tell me everything's gonna be alright.

boohoo.
a long weekend just flew by :(
i dont mean to complain. im glad, at least there was a 3 days' break instead of the usual 2.
but.... butt butt.

it was a lovely weekend.
i did most of my assignments as promised. everything was peachy till i decided to start to at least gather a few things to pack for my upcoming trip & found the zipper of my winter coat (which i loaned a knnbccb classmate of mine during sem 1) stuck!
i din check it when she returned it to me. my bad. im too lazy trusting.
the hood is removable from the coat but the zipper is now stuck and i have to die trying getting it out. for my trip and for evonne whom im gonna loan it to.

bought an adidas beanie today!
not that i wanna spend the $, but i left my other beanie in perth!
(return it to me pls)
ohh and i cut my hair.
i golfed.
i watched a movie.

boring. simple. good enough.
hua jie said my life is interesting.
when i begged to differ, she/he reminded me of the incident of me going to the wrong loo.
how interesting.

i need loads of patience and understanding.
mutual.
everything can be worked out, yes it can.

the truth is, when people drift away, they dont come back anymore.
even if the current somehow bring them back, they are not the same anymore.
the person you know years ago might look the same and speak the same and smell the same yet be completely different.

thats human nature. when they are given seemingly better alternatives never before offered, they wudnt want to go back.

*
showing off in a rowdy way and showing off in a pretend-to-be-humble way still = showing off.
and erm.. i dont quite like it.
BUT. i will not impose my thinking on others. so its my prob, k? :D

**
i want to shop for xmas presents :)



2 hrs later...

ok i have decided to go out and buy a few things. tho its raining now, and ah zhen is sneakily leaving me for thailand soon >:\

OH! jy!!!! rem that black corset-like thing i bot in melb? the pj/lingerie shop?
its so fuckin tight! i managed to squeeze into it, and it doesnt look half bad.
but removing it is another matter altogether. there is a 90% chance of dislocating my shoulders!
maybe im fat, but not THAT fat.
im not gonna put that on again unless im skinny like victoria beckham.

gawd. to think i was happy abt the management's decision to be (finally) upfront and personal with the staff...

i hate last minute changes that will jeopardize the entire project. those who are not doing the ground work will never understand. im taking my time now, since its not that urgent.
im inclined to maintain a positive attitude towards everything, but why shd i when i get paid peanuts to worry so much abt so much & there is no satisfaction at all?

granted the person who pissed me off is not the man who spoke to me ytd. and sadly, he is of higher rank than the good man.
fffffffff.

8 days to japan.
but im not really excited cos i still have loads to do before i go & the days just fly by! maybe i dont have much time to ponder abt my trip.
perhaps i dont look forward to it cos i haven finished my sch assignments!!
i really meant to do my sch work but im so frigging tired & my eyes hurt from concentrating so hard on spotting spelling errors all day. and my head hurts too.

its funny how i still feel.. happy.

my patience has been worn too thin due to the workload & inefficient parties.
i must be patient! im not that bloody efficient myself, but i do try my best. the awful things that i recieved from the said inefficient parties were really horrrrible >:\

i WILL finish up my part of the grp assignment & send it to my grp mates, and i WILL make loads of progress on my individual assignment by this friday.
I WILL.

oh yes. im happy today cos my MD took the effort to address issues. issues that i thot were not handled properly from the start, and i was really really unhappy abt it. but at least he is trying, making amends. his speech was sincere & i was quite touched. tho it came too late for many people, i give him credit for being man enough to come out personally, at the risk of facing the wrath of some, bombarded with questions.
people do need chances and some time to get it right.
whatever it may be.

mixed emotions.

im worried abt my assignments, but somewhat glad i got started.
im happy i passed my last sem's papers. (results were out today)
im sad cos ray didnt get what he wants today.

tho he has been encouraging me to try for SQ cabin crew interview again, ive been doubtful. yes, i love to travel, but im no longer sure if thats for me as a job.
that is, if they want me in the first place.
tho i know i dont have model-good-looks, i do know that im pleasant looking enough to pass. im tall enough, eloquent enough, passionate enough, likable enough.
when i got to 3rd round of that SQ interview some yrs ago, i truly felt like it was some beauty competition as 2 women scrutinized my face. perhaps i was really lucky to be able to even pass the 1st & 2nd round. i guess failed at the kebaya test cos i walked so awkwardly in that small room (the pool test before that was the easiest part) & the uniform was so freakin tight i was sure i wud burst out of it if i sat down & breathed too hard.
im not gonna be doing a catwalk down the aisle, so why fail me. or issit cos i scratched my face as i jumped into the swimming pool?

im not blaming them of cos. it must be that i lack some qualities they were looking for.
but i do think ray deserved to be in. he is definitely looks good enough, tall enough, eloquent enough, passionate enough, likable enough. and smart enough.
not lucky enough.

dont be disheartened for too long, my friend. things really do happen for a reason. if i had gotten in, i wud never have met the people i subsequently met in my alternative jobs, nor experienced & learnt whatever i did :)

the love of this father has no boundaries. i can only imagine the magnitude of his love for his son.
goosebumps kept breaking out on my skin as i watched this amazing father literally going the extra miles for his love.
what problems can be big enough? none.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJMbk9dtpdY

moomoomich says: (PM 11:30:36)
got ants in my room
moomoomich says: (PM 11:30:39)
wtf did they come frm
moomoomich says: (PM 11:30:43)
crawl on my apple screen
moomoomich says: (PM 11:30:44)
i killed it
moomoomich says: (PM 11:30:57)
death is the penalty for trespassing my macbook
.:I'm Loving it:. says: (PM 11:31:29)
hahahhaha
.:I'm Loving it:. says: (PM 11:31:34)
cos ur too dirty d
moomoomich says: (PM 11:32:02)
i dont like to kill ants but dont invade my room
moomoomich says: (PM 11:32:08)
lucky i got ah liz
moomoomich says: (PM 11:32:15)
ah liz is the lizards frens
.:I'm Loving it:. says: (PM 11:33:15)
now lizard also has a name
.:I'm Loving it:. says: (PM 11:33:17)
omg
.:I'm Loving it:. says: (PM 11:33:20)
u r nuts
.:I'm Loving it:. says: (PM 11:33:51)
den cockroaches are ah cock ah
moomoomich says: (PM 11:34:40)
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHA

my company d&d has come & gone.
not my 1st time as a d&d committee member, but there is much more work this time. its a thankless job. what you get aftermath are complaints.
ive really been stretched lately.
i dont mind being busy, but not hectic!
it was fun, despite glitches & headaches but im glad its over.
now i just gotta worry abt the calendar, the publications, marketing collaterals, quotations, websites...

AND MY SCH WORK.

i read that our hearts are only good for a certain amt of heartbeats. my heart's been racing these days. i dont want to die that young.

im leaving in 1.5 weeks' time, and its the first time im really not looking forward to a japan trip. i gotta finish my sch assignments way before the deadline, before i fly away.
i blame myself for procrastinating.
but i MAY go golfing on sat.

what?
there is always time for golf.

hardball: one of the stages of sugar syrup in the preparation of candy, which occurs at 250 to 266 degrees fahrenheit.

nougat, marshmallows, rock candy, gummies - these are all cooked to the hardball stage, when the sugar concentration is very high and syrup will form thick ropes when dripped from a spoon. (be careful, sugar burns long after it comes into contact with ur skin; its easy to forget that something so sweet can leave a scar.)
to test ur solution, drop a bit of it into cold water. its ready if it forms a hard ball that doesnt flatten when fished out but whose shape can still be changed with significant pressure.
which of cos, leads to the more colloquial definition of hardball: ruthless, agressive, competitive behavior; the kind thats designed to mold someone else's thinking to match ur own.

up and down my rollercoaster ride
started off excited
but halfway through's a fright
put on the seatbelt
grab it tight
its gonna spin round & spin my insides
saw the 360 loops but i hopped on
who's to judge who's right

down and up my rollercoaster ride
im left without a fight

guilt weighed so heavily on me today.
its still tearing me apart now actually.

i thot abt how i often disappoint the people who love me. my grandma, for instance. she's one of the people i love most in this world.
illiterate tho she is, im proud to say she has picked up enough singlish to communicate with my lil cousins & the maid, and my neighbour-colleague too.
she is always so selfless, giving us the freshly cooked food while she eats the overnight food herself.
becos i didnt have my mum around, she used to take me to the doc when i was sick. i remember i was vomiting one day during my pri sch days & she came to fetch me. while i vomited my guts out, she comforted me, saying that 'mum is watching you' over & over again.
i used to wake up early at 5ish am to accompany her for the daily morning rounds at the stadium & a trip to the wet market after that. she would feed me half boiled eggs/bread/milo & i was happy as a bee.

im always so ill tempered, even when i was a kid. i remember after me doing naughty stuff, she would tell me to stack my pillows high up to reflect. no, i didnt lose my temper with her recently or anything, but i just feel that i dont spend enough time at home. i always say that i would try to be home for dinner more often, but i haven been doing that.

i pray hard for my grandma to be in the pink of health forever.. & for all the mean bones in me to dissolve... i want to be.. good.

am i crazy?
i think we all have the potential to go crazy.
its a thin line, that one.
which side are u on? can we thread carefully on the line?
perhaps we are all juz pretending to be sane. isnt that crazy?

i think its perfectly ok to be crazy.

tempering: to heat slowly and gradually

most of the time when we talk about a temper, we mean a quickness to anger. in cooking though, tempering is about making something stronger by taking your time. you temper eggs by adding a hot liquid in small increments. the idea is to raise their temperature without causing them to curdle. the result is a stirred custard that can be used as a dessert sauce or incorporated into a complex dessert.

here's something interesting: the consistency of the finished product has nothing to do with the type of liquid used to heat it. the more eggs you use, the thicker and richer the final product will be.
or in other words, it's the substance you've got when you start that determines the outcome.

**
why do people want to hurt others with cutting words? without a reason.
words dripping icicles.
or maybe there IS a reason unknown to me.

some strange power drew me to my untouched-for-ages drawers & i started packing.
inside, i kept many photos & letters & some rubbish too.
i feel very blessed looking at my thick wad of envelops & i starting reading some of them. from some cutesy small cards (from weimin) to one pretty creamy looking cake that pops out when i open the card (from shywei), to simple but heartfelt messages (from jiayin & evonne & rayner) to my one biggest card (frm jane & tmag), ive got them all.
many put a smile on my face as i lapped up the contents, tho a few made me sad.
one particularly memorable one is frm bq - the one she sent to me to my adidas office & wrote BOMB on it.
and the cards from mindy - one of the 3 people who calls me 'chelle' (pronounced as 'shell') - always so sincere, some from xiuliang, my bestest friend in primary sch - she mentioned that she wished to travel with me when we grew up.
and from huiping, another best friend in pri sch, 'i dont friend you' letters.
some from ys. some from iwan. many i haven looked thru.

i remember my reaction when i recieved those love letters. for eg, i was flushing & abit teary when i recieved the bigass card frm jane on my last day of work - her effort of putting the photos of the tmag people together with their messages for me. i was so relunctant to leave.

i also digged out manyyyy old photos & i kept chuckling, tho i am also sad that some of those people are no longer around. (i dreamt of my late paternal grandpa ytd & it was a really simple, sweet dream) i gathered a few photos to scan & upload to fb tmr :P
some are too hilarious.

i love my love letters :)

i had a good night slp, thou it came with a strange dream.
i dream that someone who did me wrong gave me a chocolate cake.
i didnt feel anything negative. if anything, i just felt sorry that things turned out this way.

and i prefer cheesecake.

OSIM again.
but im feeling good cos there's only one class this week.. though im abit worried abt the assignments @_@

i wished my weekends would never come to an end.
then i withdrew some cash from the atm & the only thing that came to an end was my wishful thinking.

no job, no money.
no money, no holidays, no golf games, no dive trips, no food, no shopping, no massages, no macbook, no pocket money for my dad & gran, no meals/coffees with friends. only tons of unpaid bills.

so the bottomline is to slightly change my wish.
i wish all my weekends (and weekdays, if possible) from now will only be filled with laughter :))

**
happy bday to weiwei!! :))
thank you to this friend of mine who stood quietly by me, giving me encouragement & support in times of need. i cant express my gratitude enough. im really thankful for everything he did - going out of his way for me.
i want to wish upon him many blessings, but i think this guy has more than anyone can ask for - a happy & good family :)))

think im in the slumber mode, going about my daily activities in a zombie-like state.

i went to the loo today & spotted a urinal & cried out to mindy that we're in the wrong toliet & i backed away till she laughed & said its for kids -.-"
im paranoid!
and i thot the potluck at kyle's is this sat. thank god evonne reminded me its nx week.
i can only imagine kyle's face when he opens his door & see me grinning away with my 2 bags full of food.

god bless.

i dream that i went to this pet shop & at first was intrigued by the rare species of fishes they have. then i saw rabbits being chained to the cages, forced to sit on their butts in an uncomfortable way & i got into a dispute abt that with the hostile owners & workers over that & i called the cops.

is it too much of bejewelled games (late into the night) or what?

*
its abt 1 mth to my japan trip :)
i recieved my new lugg ytd and its huge compared to my old one. i ached a lil at having to spend $ on that but my old one has a super uncomfortable handle grip.
and erm.. my aunt paid for me first, i haven repaid her.
im going to eat a ton of sushi :))
ive jotted down a few must-buy stuff!

**
my dear dive buddy janelle chatted with me abit ytd. i cant think abt diving trips when ive got no $. its a luxury to me, and she's asking if i wanna go maldives, similan or bali next year.
im sorry i cant meet up with my friends as often as i want, cos im trying to juggle a healthy amt of time spent with my family & sch+work. but i have a potluck event this sat at kyle's :D~

cant wait to graduate so i'll be free, free, free!

=))

every relationship rests on three legs: accepting, supporting and challenging..

i had a nightmare about my upcoming company d&d.
im in the d&d committee, i was late, the performance on stage was a horror & the entire thing was a failure.

my colleagues diagnosed me with 3rd degree depression.

i need to take a chill pill.

i want to go tanning!